becoming atheist

today feels like a good day to pursue atheism.
a quick wikipedia search yields that atheism is:
the rejection of the belief
in the existence of deities.
and while i certainly cannot deny the existence
of a creator/ sustainer/ father,
i do reject much of what i have learned of him,
and even more so of the ideologies that
just don't seem to fit in with his biblical characteristics.

when i stop and think of god,
i picture myself as a child, laying in a grassy field,
staring up at the clouds in the sky.
and that sky seems so limitless,
and yet, i can manage to make out some shapes
hidden in the clouds.

there are certain things of god's character
that will always remain a mystery.
but the more i discover, the more i'm in awe,
and the more i'm frustrated.

at some point, the finite and infinite intersect-
which, is a miracle in itself-
but the two can never fully embrace,
lest one fully becomes the other.
it's why jesus lived in mystery-
he seldom actually answered a question
that was asked of him,
but rather, posed a brand new question.

some people think that when we die,
we'll inherit new bodies- along with shiny
white robes- and we'll all smile with big,
toothy grins (i'm clearly flashing back to
my toddler bible picture book)-
and these new bodies will be capable of
knowing and understanding god,
and we'll let go of all earthy limitations.

but i don't think that'll really happen.
rather, i think we'll spend eternity,
learning about his character and relationship,
as, it will take an eternity to barely scratch
the surface of who he is.